Job tip #2: Make time for lunch (with people)

If you're a high achiever like me, you're often at a crossroads whenever lunchtime comes around. You ask yourself, "Should I have lunch with so-and-so?", or, "Should I eat in my office to make sure I make my deadline?" Most of the times, the second option seems more sensible for your career, but you could be in danger of isolating yourself if you choose it too often.

Lunchtime is a rare opportunity to get to know people and form a relationship with your otherwise busy co-workers. Sure, you may have to work a little later to make up for your leisure hour away, but you get to build on trust and camaraderie in turn. That trust and camaraderie can go a long way during challenging times at work... Think about it, would you rather help your friend out of a ditch or an aloof associate?

Lunchtime can also be a great way to set up a one on one interaction with the big boss... or your direct reports (if you're the big boss). Since the big boss is always busy, but needs to eat, a walk down the block to grab a sandwich is just as good as a 30 minute pow-wow meeting. In fact, it may be even better, since the BB will see you outside of the "office" element and will perhaps loosen up a bit. Vice-versa, the big boss needs to build loyalty with the staff, perhaps paying for an occasional lunch or coffee is enough of a treat to build favor among the troops.

So, take some time out to have "lunch", their is a business purpose to it after all!

Job tip #1: Play by the rules!

Well, I've decided to rehash all of the tips and tricks of the trade that I've learned during my time in both a client-facing role, as well as a corporate role. I will share these little tidbits through my daily job tips. Feel free to review them, think about them, and apply them to your own careers and hopefully they will provide you with pointers and support, in an ever-changing job market.

Job Tip #1: Play by the rules (when you're new or when you get a new boss)
Every workplace has its rules. These rules may be clearly written in an employee guidebook, taught during orientation, or communicated by those already “in the know”.

It is easy to take the employee code of conduct and toss it in the recycle bin, fool around during orientation or sexual harassment class, and sign and disregard the employee technology policy without a second look. Just know that doing so, may involuntarily end your time with your company sooner than you think.

What many new employees fail to realize is that almost all companies/organizations have a little, hidden but known clause that details a new employee's probationary period. During the probationary period, usually the initial three months of employment, an employee can resign without notice and can be released from employment without notice, the opportunity for corrective action, or severance pay. While this is critical to new employees, the same can be said for employees who have already passed the probationary period; especially when you get a new boss! I've seen so many colleagues get *dinged* for multiple violations, most especially in this volatile job market, so make sure that you know the rules!

The important thing is to learn the obvious rules, play by them, and avoid crossing the line; then learn the unwritten rules and do the same thing.

Leadership Tips: 7 Points to Remember

Earlier today, I was listening in on a global conference call to kick off Asian Heritage month. For anonymity's sake, I won't mention the name of the keynote speaker (we will refer to her as Ms. Success), but I will tell you that she is a minority in the corporate world due to her gender and ethnicity. She lived most of her life in the Northwest region of the United States, in a time when people of her ethnicity were not welcome... but she persevered, and is now one of the most influential executives of a global company.

What struck me as interesting and made me even more engaged during her speech was her humility. The woman did not advertise her credentials, nor did she seem boastful or self-entitled. She went on to say share some of the finer points she learned during her uphill battle with prejudice and adversity:

Be Yourself. There is nothing more difficult than trying to be who you are not. It is important to remember where you came from, and what you've done to get to where you are now. Have no shame, and use any struggles and bad experiences as sources of strength... after all, you did eventually overcome them. Besides, smart people will always know if you're wearing a mask.

Persist. Ms. Success mentioned that at one point in her career, she interviewed for a high level job for which she knew she was more than qualified. Unfortunately, the hiring executive bluntly told her that she did not fit the image, since all of her contacts were old, school, boy's club types, and they would be uncomfortable interacting with a petite, female, minority figure. Well, she did not let this comment phase her and persisted in interviewing with numerous companies - some telling her the same thing. Eventually, she landed an even greater position at a more prestigious company. She learned that by persisting, a door of opportunity will eventually open.

Adapt. During numerous boardroom meetings, Ms. Success noticed a trend in the way the majority of executives interacted. Since 99% of them were All-American, alpha males, they usually broke the ice by talking football or golf. Now, Ms. Success is neither a football or golf fan... but she did realize the importance of interacting with her peers and not being left out and exposed as an outcast. So, before every meeting, along with reading the headlines in the Wall Street Journal, she would also flip to the Sports Section to catch up on the interests of her peers. While this may seem contradictory to the first point (Be Yourself), remember that much of success comes from relationship building. And, if you don't make an effort to adapt and try new things, you will block the natural growth of a relationship.

Don't lose sight of the other 25%. Ms. Success stated that as an individual, you are always judged by your performance and contributions at work... 75% of the time! But, what about the other 25%? The relationship building aspect? Well, if you forget about the other 25%, you will soon reach a plateau in your progression to the top. Thus, don't skip out on too many lunches with your peers or superiors, make every opportunity to chit-chat, share your experiences and stories. If you don't build relationships, you may end up alone in a mediocre position with nothing to look forward to but a pat on the back from time to time. Building relationships ensures that you will eventually have a network of people who will help propel you towards your goals in the future.

Stretch Beyond Your Comfort Zone. Let's be honest... everyone loves the feeling of being the best at what we're doing. But how long will you feel good, if what you're doing remains the same year after year? Colin Powell once said, “If it ain't broke, don't fix it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared. It's an excuse for inaction, a call to non-arms.” It's usually the person who becomes complacent who no longer continues to grow in self-worth.

Give Back. Along your journey, you will have learned many valuable lessons and gone through many enlightening experiences. Why not share that knowledge with others? Be a mentor, confidante, teacher... None of us would have succeeded if not for the advice and teachings of those in the know. Pay it forward, because it will eventually catch up to you.

Balance! That is... find balance in your life. If you have a family, make sure you have quality time devoted to them. Enjoy your time with your spouse, parents, siblings and relatives. Spend time with good friends and make sure to laugh often. If you want to focus on yourself, make sure that you find ways to personally develop. Take some classes in something totally unrelated to work, travel, try new foods, meet new people. No one can keep sane with all work and no play... that's not what life is all about. Being happy in your personal life, will make success easier and more fun to accomplish!

Remember these 7 points... and take advantage of Ms. Success' knowledge and experience. I know I will!

Today is a Special Day

Today is Wednesday. It’s just another ordinary day if I make it so, but I just felt a buzz this morning that made it feel like it is a special day; even though it just started. The buzz I felt is not the kind you get by drinking a few good cocktails; it’s more like feeling the way you do, when your favorite football team wins the superbowl... or when you watch a Hollywood happy ending.

It’s strange though, because I got that feeling just by taking off my coat. Yes… taking off my coat. It felt blissful that I was able to unbutton my coat with three quick flicks of my thumb and index finger. It was such a smooth feeling as the silk lining graciously slid down the length of my shoulders and arms. And, it was quite soothing to see my coat cascade gently onto my chair in one, fluid motion.

I don’t even know why I’m writing about an instance so miniscule and insignificant, but it all seems just right. In fact, everything seems to be turning out right because I suddenly feel this way. My deadlines for today have been met, a few good friends called me from out of the blue, I received answers to some pending questions, etc.

That’s when it hit me that I should treat every day special… every feeling special… every moment, precious. It’s just difficult to see and appreciate every little thing in the world when I am constantly engulfed by goal-setting, deadlines, media, economic crises, and my own self-imposed pressure.

Sometimes we all misinterpret the little things as annoyances, when they really are blessings in disguise.

Here’s what I’m grateful for today:

• My daughter clinging to me this morning, making me late for work – I’m grateful to spend ten extra minutes taking in all her unconditional love.
• My bus being packed with commuters – I’m grateful to be part of a community and be able to exchange smiles and common courtesies with strangers.
• Taking off my coat at the office – I’m grateful that I can feel, that I am energized, that I still have my youth, and that I am alive. I watched a program about people with disabilities the other day, and was amazed at the perseverance of each who overcame their disabilities.
• My cafeteria not serving hash browns today – I’m grateful that I didn’t have anything to tempt me. I am working on lowering my cholesterol after all.

The day is not over yet… but those are just a few things I’m thankful for already. I’ll be sure to strive to start each day, the way I feel today.

Social Prowess: Top 10 Tips for Navigating or Avoiding a New York City Crowd

If you’re visiting the city, commuting, or have taken the plunge and decided to move into the thriving metropolis full-time, it will always be useful to know how to properly navigate through its overcrowded streets and subterranean tunnels. Follow these 10 tips to avoid getting stuck in a sea of jaded commuters or photo-happy tourists, and reduce your walk time by at least 10 minutes (results may vary)

10) Treat the masses of people like a body of water. Rivers and oceans always have equally opposing currents. Look out for a mass of people who are moving in your general direction and tag along behind them until you reach your desired location. Find an exit point such as an open entrance to a shop when stepping out of the ‘current’ to avoid getting trampled.

9) Avoid walking in a cluster of people who are dressed like tourists. Sorry to generalize, but tourists usually wear "I Love NY” t-shirts, carry a camera around their necks, and may have the occasional fanny-pack). More than likely, tourists will unknowingly block your path by stopping to ask for directions, pondering which deli or restaurant to explore, taking a picture of something mentioned in their guidebooks, etc. It’s a much better gamble to walk behind people in suits or dressed business casual, carrying a briefcase or messenger bag (good luck if they’re business guests from Delaware).

8) Find a ‘bulldozer’ or ‘Noah’ (Note: Religious Advocates please excuse the dramatic use of a biblical figure). A bulldozer is what I call a person who can skillfully push people aside, making a clear path. A ‘Noah’ is a reference to a Christian biblical figure, who had the power to part the Red Sea… the sea in this instance, is the masses of people. Usually a bull dozer is a person whose obvious size or momentum intimidates people to step aside (think the Juggernaut or Mr. T)… a bull dozer may also be a person with a steel dolly (they hurt if you bump into them) or a fast-moving, aggressive couple. A Noah is a term I reserve for authority (e.g. police, EMT, security guards, etc.) One of these types will pave the way for you… making it easy to get to where you are going. Just don’t get in front of a ‘Noah’ or the Red Sea may come crashing down.

7) Use roads less traveled. As with any area, I recommend that you consider the safety precautions of alleyways and desolate streets, if you are not familiar with them. I recommend looking out for street grates (women with high heels always avoid them) or unused bicycle paths; these pathways are less frequented by tourists, groups, and crowds, as they don’t allow for easy group navigation.

6) In conjunction with #7, try to walk on the East Side if it is convenient enough to do so. Because of the lack of subway lines on the East Side, larger crowds converge in the Western most avenues. (e.g. It is much easier to briskly walk without interruption on Park Avenue, than it is to walk on Broadway.)


5) Time your walk during off-peak periods. On weekdays, streets are much clearer during the hours of (10am – 11am) and (2pm – 3pm), since workers are usually in their buildings. In the evening, watch out for the Broadway crew, who make their way to the shows at around 7:30pm(around 11:30pm or midnight they all get out again).

4) Use large public areas in buildings to your advantage. If you can enter a large, public building with several street exits you may be able to get to the next block quicker (e.g. Walk through Macy’s in Herald Square to get from Broadway to 8th Avenue). Master the tunnels of Grand Central and you’ll be king/queen of the East Side.

3) Master the subway system. Knowing where the subway will drop you off ahead of time, will greatly reduce your time walking and bumping through the crowds. (The 1, 2, 3 trains stop every 3-5 blocks on the west side, as well as the C,E. The 4, 5, trains on the east side, stop about every 6 – 10 blocks, with the 6 train going local.).

2)Use www.hopstop.com to plan your commute ahead of time. It is a mapquest-like tool for the subway hopper!

1) And the #1 tip to navigate through a New York Crowd? Be rich, powerful, and important. Then, have a motorcade escort you to the front door of your destination!

Leadership Tips: Translate Ideas into Action!

Leadership is ultimately about producing results. Leaders may have the talent and character, but unless they produce sustained, high quality results for the team and organization, they are simply not effective leaders.

The best leaders translate ideas into action. They create the environment to move to the next step by bringing their energy, passion and sense of urgency to what needs to be done. They are constantly looking for ways to improve.

Great leaders:

1. Continually stretch their team members by creating exciting, client and business focused performance goals and corresponding individual and team development plans.
   
2. Take personal responsibility for results
   
3. Provide continuous feedback and coaching to their teamSet ambitious goals for their organization
   
4. Personally sponsor initiative and action
   
5. Initiate new programs, projects, processes, client relationships, and technology
   
6. Focus on organizational goals and ensure they are translated into meaningful action by their teams
   
7. Operate with speed and intensity
   
8. Champion the cause of the customer
   
9. Balance short and long term business objectives

Leadership Tips: What I've Learned from Donald Trump - by Robert Kiyosaki

Unless you've lived under a rock or don't care for personal development much, you've probably read or at least heard about ,"Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!", which was co-authored by Robert T. Kiyosaki. The premise of the book is that one may attain wealth through creativity and thinking out of the box; one doesn't necessarily have to be an Ivy League graduate, or formally trained via a corporate program. I'll divulge more tips from the book in a detailed review, but for now, I wanted to share what Kiyosaki said he learned from The Donald. I thought it was an interesting read, so here it is:

Now that our book, Why We Want You to Be Rich, is out, I can tell you what working with Donald Trump has been like.

Millions of people know "the Donald" as the tough guy who says, "You're fired" at the end of The Apprentice. I've been asked often if he's that gruff in real life. The answer is yes. My experience with Donald is that he's being real whether he's on camera or off. He never pretends to be Donald Trump. He is Donald Trump.

Obviously, co-authoring a book with him has been a milestone for me -- as an author and as a businessman. Appearing on Larry King Live, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Today Show, The Early Show, and CNBC with Donald gave me more credibility in the business world.
An Unofficial Apprenticeship

Yet I gained more than just recognition and credibility. I also became a better businessman and a better person just from working with Donald over the years.

Here are a few of the ways that knowing Donald has enriched my life:

1. I got tougher.
I know many people don't like Donald because he comes across as a tough guy. That's their problem. In spending time with him, I realized that I wasn't as successful as I could be simply because I wasn't tough enough.

As a businessman, I often didn't say what I wanted to say because I was afraid of hurting someone's feelings, or of having my feelings hurt. Instead of being forthright, I would be polite. Because of my association with Donald, I took back control of my business in 2005 and 2006 and fired people who should have been let go a long time ago.

The employees I got rid of weren't bad people, they were just the wrong people for my company. Today, business is thriving and people are happier.

2. I became kinder and more respectful.
One of my problems is that I'm very impatient and get angry too quickly. I believe Donald can be the same. Yet I saw him be patient, kind, and respectful in many situations that would have caused me to lose my patience.

When I asked him about this trait, he simply said, "One of the most important lessons my parents taught me was to treat all people with respect, even if I'm angry with them." Today, in my dealings with people, I do my best to treat all people with respect -- especially if I'm angry at them. Although I haven't always been successful, I believe I've become a little kinder as a result.
3. I got richer.
My wife, Kim, and I have more than enough money. We consider ourselves rich. When we entered Donald's world, however, we saw a whole new level of rich.
There's a difference between being a millionaire and a billionaire. The Trump lifestyle -- the penthouse, mansion, limos, and 727 -- gave me a firsthand glimpse into his world, and I began to understand why he constantly talks about thinking big.
Just being around him, I began to think bigger and richer. I set my sights on becoming a billionaire and began redesigning my business to become a billion-dollar business. Today, I constantly remind my staff that my job is to make them millionaires -- and their job is to make me a billionaire.

4. I became less petty.
One day, during a meeting in Donald's office, I was complaining about someone we were doing business with. I didn't like the way we were being treated. When I asked Donald about this person and voiced my concerns, he simply said, "Don't be so petty. Sometimes you have to do business with people you don't like. It doesn't mean you have to be like them or like them."
From that, I learned to think bigger and, more important, to know the difference between paying attention to details and being petty.

5. I was reminded of the value of collaboration and partnership, as well as the value of loyalty.
I saw this repeatedly as we developed the concept for our book, discovered our shared concerns and our passion for teaching, and shared the stage for dozens of media interviews.
Getting on Larry King Live and The Today Show is easy for Donald, but in booking a few of these interviews he insisted that we get equal billing. And when a show host mispronounced my name, Donald jumped in to correct him on national television. These simple acts spoke volumes.

History in the Making
About the same time our book was released, a new book about Andrew Carnegie, the richest man in the world at the start of the 20th century, was also published. The timing is ironic. I believe that when history looks back at the start of the 21st century, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and Donald Trump will be seen as the Carnegies of the era.

Many historians view Carnegie as a ruthless man, and I know that many people also see these three in the same light. Yet if you study Carnegie's life, you find that he was extremely generous, and donated billions of dollars in support of building libraries and preserving world peace.

He even envisioned the League of Peace, a precursor to President Wilson's League of Nations. I trust that history will allow a space for the good that Gates, Buffett, and Trump have done, and not simply resent them for their wealth.

Donald and I got together to write our book as teachers, not just as rich men. We're both concerned about the lack of financial education in our schools. In the process of writing it, I not only became a richer person, I believe I also become a better human being. And for this, I feel privileged to have seen a side of Donald Trump that not many people see.

Robert Kiyosaki

Leadership Tips: Top 10 Lessons Learned From Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins has been an inspiration for millions. Love him and his philosophy or not, it is undeniable that he has had a positive impact on millions of people. He has sold over 30-million motivational tapes, published three best-selling self-help books, more than 2 million people attended his seminars and another 10,000 (including myself) have attended his mastery university in Hawaii. His core products include Get The Edge - Unlimited Power - Date with Destiny - Mastery University and more.


Here are the top 10 lessons that people have learned from Tony Robbins:

1. By altering your body's physiology, you can achieve an immediate change of your emotional state. The mind will follow whatever state your phsyical body is in and not vice-versa.


2. Ask specific questions of yourself (in your self-talk) to direct and control your attention to the various aspects of the human experience. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself.


3. Get leverage to create personal change by associating an old behavior with massive pain and the desired new behavior with massive pleasure. Tony is a big believer in the pain/pleasure principles of life and this applies in business as well.


4. When you get stuck, interrupt your limiting pattern by doing something totally unexpected.


5. You can condition your behavior by visualizing it over and over again. This is not exactly unique to Tony Robbins, but he does reinforce this message in all of his products.


6. Goal-setting strategy: Know your end outcome; Take massive intelligent action; Have sensory-acuity to notice if you are getting the results you desire and if not; change your approach; and change *until* you get your end outcome.


7. Create a "Compelling future" by vividly imagining your end result to generate enthusiasm and power within yourself. The past does not equal the future. Find beliefs that support your goals and desires.


8. Youth is Power! This is one of Tony's beliefs. Even if you don't have fancy degrees, your youth can still mean power, flexibility and opportunity for your life.


9. Principles of CANI! CANI stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. It's a basic tenet of Tony Robbins.


10. NLP can be useful. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and there are many NLP undertones in Tony's basic tenets. He went on to morph NLP into his own technology called "NAC" (Neuro Associative Conditioning).
    

I was actually fortunate to see Tony in person at a Learning Annex event in New York. He was very charismatic and down-to-earth, despite his "larger than life" public image. What I found personally important is that his methods must constantly be applied to every aspect of your life (consistently) in order to see any substantial impact. Be the person that you want to be 'EVERY DAY'! Be POSITIVE and don't let anything bring you down!

Leadership Tips: Robert Mondavi’s Philosophy of Life

Hello all! As part of my inspiration series, I'd like to re-hash Robert Mondavi's Philsophy of Life, which is in my opinion true and heart-felt. His words can help steer us in the right direction... so, if you haven't seen them already, here they are:

1. Have faith in yourself


2. Make a commitment to excel


3. Be passionate about what you do


4. Set goals just beyond what you can do


5. Be completely honest and open


6. Be generous and giving


7. Only make promises you can keep


8. Accept people the way they are


9. Be tolerant , empathetic and compassionate


10. Recognize that no two people understand things the same way


11. Listen and speak carefully


12. When you find your soul mate, open yourself completely


13. Be flexible


14. Always be positive


15. The greatest leaders don’t rule, they inspire

Deep Thoughts: Ying Yang -- Increase your awareness!

I've been meaning to write about the ying and yang for quite some time; and I'm not talking about the Ying Yang Twins. As many of you already know, the concept of yin and yang describes two opposing and, at the same time, complementary (completing) aspects of any one phenomenon (object or process) or comparison of any two phenomena. They are universal standards of quality at the basis of the systems of correspondence seen in most branches of classical Chinese science and philosophy. At least that's how it is described in Wikipedia...

Now, it may be old news to some of you more enlightened folks out there, but I began to notice the reality of the ying and the yang in my own life. For instance, whenever something TOTALLY EXCELLENT happened to me, whenever I came across some good fortune or performed some good deed, an equally balancing negative force inevitably came later. I remember one time I was on a high after accomplishing something at work and I was Mr. Smiles to everyone I passed all day (a really strange thing if you happen to be in New York) -- I even opened the door for a little, old lady as she was leaving Duane Reade... when the Ying suddenly slapped me across the face, a middle aged, 'rough-looking woman' brushed passed this poor, old lady and looked me straight in the eye muttering, "Get the f*%k outta my way!"

Well, the expected reaction I would have given was," F*%k you", but I held back and took three deep breaths to calm myself (see my post on Avoiding Conflict). I came to the realization that this unpredictable, unexpected event occurred to balance out the positive energy that I was projecting. By reacting in the expected fashion, I would have expended about half of my positive energy, convert it into negative energy, and subsequently felt less positive or even neutral from that point on. Instead, I took a different path of reaction... I let my feeling of rage pass and I focused on helping the little, old lady who was pushed aside and smiled at her. She smiled back and thanked me... adding a little more to my positive energy.

Following that incident, I decided to conduct a difficult social experiment... I decided that I would beam positive energy and try hard not to let anything bring me down. The results? Good things happened, but bad things soon followed.

So, in conclusion... stay positive! It's difficult... but if you can maintain it, you'll notice a big change in your world! If you have noticed similar things in your life... please leave me a comment and share your thoughts... thanks!

Leadership Tips: Conflicts at Work & Tips for a Speedy Path to Resolution

You may be one smart employee or you may be the big boss, but whatever your situation is at work there is one skill not taught in business school or included in most employee training manuals – the skill of effectively and constructively dealing with conflict.

Conflicts appear everywhere… in your existing job, in a new job, and in everyday life. Reasons for conflict may come from the most trivial matters, to bothersome issues that have accumulated over time. Conflicts may also be the result of varying work styles, clashing personalities, and/or differing opinions.

Sometimes conflicts arise when people feel pressured or stressed for reasons that may have nothing to do with work. Conflicts may also arise because one’s objectives and challenges are not fully communicated to another, thus creating an unnecessary misunderstanding. Whatever the cause it is critical to your career and personal progression to learn how to effectively deal with conflicts. Here are some tips that may help you with conflicts encountered at work:

Avoid losing your temper in front of your audience. Losing your temper may be perceived as a sign of weakness and your rivals, if any, will be alerted on how to easily push your buttons. Instead, take 3 deep breaths, use a stress reliever to expend frustration (e.g. stress ball, paper clip, etc.) and promptly and politely leave the situation, only to return to the scene when you reach a calmer state. If the other person(s) persistently remain in your face and block your path, state that you do not want to make the situation worse than it is and that if he/she feels the real need to rant, you can meet for a productive and open session at a later time.

Be proactive in creating a list of possible solutions before you talk to the other person. When you feel the tension in the air and anticipate a particularly heated discussion in the near future, be prepared with suggestions on how to resolve a specific conflict. Also remember, that the delivery of your suggestions should be carried out in a way so that the other person(s) will feel engaged and collaborative.

Maintain a calm, cool, and collected temperament. Avoid accusatory remarks such as, "You're always . . ." or "You never . . ." Attempt to make the discussion collaborative and open. For example, “I thought we spoke about the deadline for this project, but I do want to understand why it is late. Can we talk about what went wrong and how we can both work together to learn from our mistakes?” Then, wait for the other person’s response. If you sense the other person becoming defensive, try to calm him/her down by stating, “We’re both in this together, I just want to know how we can make things better. Can you help me to do this?”.

Be empathetic. Try to step into the other person’s shoes. Ask yourself how he/she feels about the situation. Step back and think about how you are contributing to the situation. Are you adding onto the pressure/grief/anger? Or, are you the one delaying the progress to a speedy resolution?

Listen…listen…listen. Provide the other person with the courtesy of your attention. Once he/she is able to tell his/her own perspective without interruption, he/she will be more inclined to listen attentively to you. Providing others with the opportunity to share how they feel helps to calm tempers, resolve problems and differences, and allows for compromise.

Determine the underlying reason for a conflict. As a successful negotiator, ask yourself questions to determine the real issue surrounding a conflict. Approaching a conflict in this manner can save you and the other person a lot of time in arguing. Make sure that no personal emotions get embedded into the conflict and attempt to resolve the real issue quickly and move on.

Compromise and take what you can get. Let’s face it… maybe these tips may work for you, or maybe you have encountered a person so difficult to interact with, that they won’t work. If this is the case, try to get him/her to agree with at least 50% of your proposals, having at least half of a proposed resolution done is better than nothing. After some time, approach the other person again and see if you can work in the other half of a resolution at a later, less heated time.