Rants and Raves: Vending Machines are Evil!

I'm convinced that vending machines are evil; you wouldn't really know it until a vending machine starts to whisper to you in the desperate hours after lunch and just before dinner. Sometimes they even have the nerve to beckon to you when you have an early morning meeting and skip breakfast... unbelievable! These things have no shame. Just look at all the multi-colored artery clogging goodies poised to kill...

Positioned in the top rungs are the carb-loaded, high sodium, crunch soldiers, that say, "It's okay... you're all that, so why not have a bag of chips?" Below eye-level, the sugar-mongers taunt you with promises of an energy boost for just a little under a buck. However, notice that the healthiest alternatives (nuts, trail mix, etc.) are shoved in the bottom nooks of the machine -- poor little things, gathering dust.

Unfortunately, one of these bad boys are a little more than ten feet from my office. So, everyday I have to avoid its evil tractor beam. Just a small indication that evil never dies....

Discovering The Public Library!

Yes... you read that right. Recently, I had an epiphany when my wife and I were thinking of something to do with our little daughter, one Sunday afternoon. I never thought to go before, but I picked up a weekly circular for our public library and was instantly amazed at the activities and events advertised. I thought aloud,"this is all going on at the library?! Maybe we should check it out." So we did.

Surprisingly, our public library was only a 5 minute drive from our house. Entering the automatic doors and initially glancing around, I had a face of a kid in a candy store. I'm sure the regular patrons thought I was weird for staring in awe. Part of my amazement was the fact that the library wasn't just a library anymore... at least not the type I had known growing up.

The interior was massive and contained everything, from books to PS3 videogames! It was structured almost exactly like a Borders or Barnes & Noble store; the only difference being that you didn't have to buy any items to enjoy them.

After registering for a library card, my wife and I received a complete list of what we were entitled to borrow as registered library patrons. Anything from CDs, audio books, the most recent movies, the latest magazines, computer software and console video games, could be checked out - some for a minimal fee. There was a large play and story-telling area for children, a periodical and cafe section mostly frequented by adults, and a dedicated "teen" room, which I was too old to enter. Amazing!

So, after spending about an hour looking around, my wife and I settled on the following items:

• 1 audio book (Atonement)
• 1 video game (Soul Caliber IV for PS3)
• 1 children's book (Eloise goes to Moscow)

I wish I had known about this magical place sooner...

Baby it's cold outside!

Well, it's sad, but I can feel Winter almost upon us and we aren't even done with Fall yet. It was about 43 degrees Fahrenheit when I left my house to go to work this morning. I was in denial as I put on my scarf, overcoat, and gloves just to head out to my car.

Where did the summer go? I can still remember listening to Michael Buble croon, "The summer wind, keeps blowing in... from across the sea..." It didn't seem like long ago that I was driving my family to some quaint New Jersey town on a scorching, sunny day.

Heck... even the radio station are now playing holiday music in preparation for Christmas... and we haven't even passed Thanksgiving yet!!! Just another sign of the times - the rampant commercialization of every friggin holiday that we held sacred as a child!

I can't wait until next week when they start advertising Valentine dinner specials... my, how time flies!

Rants & Raves: Andrew Lahde bids farewell to the System!

It’s not new news that the financial market sucks. Everyone’s been affected in some way by now; whether you’re worrying about your own job, your credit, your mortgage payments, gas prices, or unnecessary expenses (e.g. dining out, entertainment, luxury vacations, etc.). Sympathies also go out to the graduating classes that now find it difficult to obtain a good paying job. Wall Street and every other financial corner of the United States are “re-assessing” the value of fancy MBA education – therefore leaving those with educational debt in the red.

But, just because the market sucks, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be entertaining. Nowadays, former bankers, analysts, and hedge funders are lashing out at the big, bad, world… claiming that they are the victims of capitalism and long hours, chained to a computer. Yet, with some of the wealth they have accumulated… should we feel sorry for them? Should anyone (who is not an i-banker, analyst, or financial monkey) who has a dream of making it big in any metropolitan area, feel sorry for these shmucks who dare voice out in an attempt to exemplify an ounce of integrity? Here is one of the most recent communications by Andrew Lahde, a successful, Santa Monica hedge fund manager, who now despises the very system that allowed him to retire comfortably. You decide… should we empathize with this guy? Do you think his statement, while insightful… is genuine?

The Andrew Lahde Farewell Letter:

Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.


Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing up shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, "What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it." I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.


There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list those deserving thanks know who they are.


I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.


So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don't worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer's company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.


I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life -- where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management -- with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.


On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government. Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man's interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft's near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.


Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won't see it included in BP's, "Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions," television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM's similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant -- marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let's stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.


With that I say good-bye and good luck.


All the best,
Andrew Lahde



So in conclusion, Andrew thinks the solution to achieving utopia is pot? Mind you... this is my assumption, but it is funny how he ends his letter on this note.

Rants & Raves: Welcome to Just Salad... "you want attitude with that?"

Once the big and little hands on your analog watch/clock rendezvous over the 12 marker during the workday, you automatically feel a familiar grumbling in your midsection... translating into either, "what's for lunch", or, "maybe it wasn't a good idea to scarf down that heavy breakfast burrito with extra black beans." In this post I will address the former... with my opinion on what I had for lunch today.


Being the 'health-conscious' person that I am... *cough*BS*cough*... I decided to make my way to the local 'Just Salad' joint at 100 Maiden Lane in downtown Manhattan. I've always been impressed with the concept; blending the salad bar at any local deli with the barista concept at Starbucks. In fact, the concept may have also been derived from the set of rules posted at the original Soup Nazi's storefront... although not as restrictive or enforced.

1. You step through the front door and wait for your turn in line
   
2. A designated order-taker yells out, 'next guest', and you give him/her your order.
   
3. When it comes to ordering, you have a few options. You can either order from the menu of 11 chef designed salads, or opt to make your own ala carte.
   
4. You may also order a wrap-sandwich, which is basically a salad in a wrap (so the place technically doesn't offer 'Just Salad'). There are 10 varieties of chef designed wraps currently available.
   
5. After placing your order and providing the 'saladista' with your name, your salad bowl is then passed down the chain of saladistas, who hastily add the rest of the ingredients of for your order.
   
6. Your salad then exits stage left, and is picked up by the 'dispatcher', usually the manager of the establishment, calls out your name and then assigns you to one of several 'salad choppers' arranged in a row at the back of the restaurant.
   
7. The 'salad chopper' immediately takes your salad bowl and dumps the contents onto the long chopping counter, as you stand in awe watching him chop vigorously away at your greens and other vegetables. You are then prompted to choose from about 26 different salad dressings or elect to go with the chef's recommended dressing for the menu salads.

Pretty neat, huh? The concept is especially impressive, coming from a pair of twentysomething entrepreneurs, who thought up the idea after scouring the city for healthy food options. A brief article features the two owners in Inc. Magazine. The place may even double as a pick-up spot, since the clientele are usually young, upwardly mobile indviduals.

Where 'Just Salad' fails for me is not the quality of the ingredients or the taste of the menu items... but in the quality of the service. Other reviews I've read compare some of the salad staff to rejects from your local DMV... I can see why. Most of the time, if you are not deemed flirt-worthy, the staff treats you with a certain indifference and you feel brushed off once the salad process is over. Now, I for one, can understand that a hectic 2 hours of catering to the lunchtime masses can take a toll on one's positive demeanor; but everytime I fork over the cost of the salad(on average $9 with what I assume is a $1 premium for the chopping concept added on), I can't help but think, "I didn't want to pay extra for attitude!"

Recommendations: If you can't decide what to order, I would recommend trying the Just Salad Signature - prepared with baby spinach, apples, bacon, red onions, walnuts, white cheddar, and topped off with sherry shallot vinaigrette. It's a good choice to sample the place, but if you want a little more interesting, try the Far East Salad.

Rants & Raves: Facebook = 0 - (Time + Productivity)

Facebook is just another social experiment to add to the likes of Friendster, MySpace, YouTube, etc. Many of my friends, colleagues, and family members urged me to get on... "It's the medium of the future, man!" I wouldn't disagree with this statement, as there has been an explosion of social networking sites to prove the importance of this medium; but Facebook really led me to ponder its real purpose.

I've had an account on Facebook for several months now and let me tell you that the initial fascination I had with it faded away fast. It's not that the website is unimpressive or a total waste of time, it's just that it is super-saturated with all these so-called 'social applications' that suck the life out of your productive, even leisure time.

Lame applications

You get:

• poked,
• super-poked,
• hugged,
• bumper stickered to death,
• requests to see how much you're worth (or your photo at least), etc.

When you're "found" by a bunch of your friends/family/colleagues/old school mates, these applications are inevitable! I remember the first time I logged on, I already had 20 friend requests and a bunch of "gifts" from various people... I was surprised. Yes, I was also flattered at first.

I also enjoyed re-connecting with people from my past and catching up through online games of scrabble, or sharing photos and stories. I was also flattered that many of my buddies labeled me as 'most successful', 'hottest', or valued my photo's initial net worth over $100K.

Then, I got myself sucked into those competitive applications... applications that heckled you to join and provide them with access to all of your profile information. I would get messages like, "Stevie just exceeded his personal best at Scramble... think you can beat him", or, "Julie got voted Most Popular by her Top Friends... see how you rank." Just then, I was transported back into time to the halls of my Freshman year in high school - a time when I really did give a damn of what people thought of me; a time when I was too self-conscious to even speak out loud... and a time when petty little things such as not being invited to some 'cool' kid's party labeled you an outcast or nerd.

I disliked and forgot those times... just like I disliked not getting a bumper sticker or cyber-drink when someone else did. Sometimes the lame applications promote exclusivity and broadcast it to your entire network.

So why spend time on a social platform that does just that?

Useful applications

Sure, there are a good number of resources connected to Facebook as well, such as:

• groups for new parents,
• groups for food and wine enthusiasts,
• car enthusiasts,
• and other networking groups.

These resources could provide you with exposure and a good network of people, if you are starting up your own business or merely looking to stay on top of the latest trends.

There are also a few cool applications like:

• "Places I've visited", sponsored by TripAdvisor, where I can visually keep track of where I have been or where my friends have been.
• Yelp, an Facebook extension of the original website, where I can upload my latest restaurant reviews and extend those reviews to my Facebook network.
• And, "Business Cards", an application that enables you to personalize a business card and attach it to your messages (for self-promotion and networking).

So, there can be a useful and somewhat novel side to Facebook.

On Socializing

Facebook however, is not an ideal substitute for the telephone and/or face-to-face interaction. But for some busy, working, parents like me and my wife, Facebook can be a great way to keep in touch to an extent.

The overbearing fact is, because you get the surreal feeling that you know where your friends are and what they are doing, you may treat a FB notification (e.g. poke, post, tag, etc.) as a false sense of personal interaction. This is unhealthy and detrimental to any relationships that you worked hard to establish (I am totally guilty of this...).

Also remember, that Facebook makes it difficult to interact with just those people with whom you actually know or care about. Other people WILL find you. Yes, this includes people who you may not want to connect with; in which case FB becomes a great way to invite stalkers into your life.

You know that weird trench-coat wearing kid always sitting in the back of the classroom or hanging out under the bleachers in the gym, or that freaky co-worker from your previous job that used to hang around you like a parasite? They WILL find you... unless of course you choose not to publish your school, real name, places of employment, associations, etc. In which case... no one will find you and then... what's the point?

Guilt may keep you from declining that 'friend request' from a person that you do not really know and/or who doesn't really know you. Why anyone other than a friend or associate would want to be on your friends list still puzzles me, but it happens. And best of luck if a nasty manager from your job 'befriends you'...

Some people seem anxious when their Friends list is hovering below 20 or so, thus compensating by adding and requesting friendships from you to the newspaper delivery guy.

Don't get me wrong though... there are many people from the past, with whom I was pleasantly surprised to receive a friend request from. And it's okay to just send along a casual, "What's going on with you... where have you been," message and periodically share updates. But what really annoys me is when someone requests you as a friend, and then never responds to your messages... I mean, what's the point???

Did you just want to peek into my life for gossip's sake? These people... I quickly remove from my Friend's list... two tears in a bucket (as one of my good buddies always says).

Overall the appeal of Facebook is dependent on your preference of use, but here are the pros and cons as I see them:

Pros:

• Social Networking for start-up business owners and bloggers has high potential
• Re-connecting with old friends and keeping in touch with those far away is nice.
• The knowledge base shared on Facebook is valuable if you can find what you're looking for.
• If you're an old fart, you're 'hip factor' may be increased by a few points, since you can say that you are on Facebook.

Cons:

• Stupid applications are abundant and make you feel obliged to honor a friend's challenge or invitation. Plus, what are programmers really doing with the profile information you grant them access to?
• Friends may embarrass you... if you're not careful and diligent to check on your daily notifications, your 'friends' may post unappealing or inappropriate pictures that include you, or may make some idiotic comment that may incriminate you and air out your dirty laundry.
• Employers who have a presence on Facebook make it less fun for those employed... Big Brother is watching!
• You may attract stalkers if you're not careful.
• And finally, your productive time will be ultimately wasted if you're sucked into the hype (I speak/write from experience!).

Is Facebook all that and a bag of chips? Personally, I think not. Until more discipline goes around limiting applications to only the most useful, Facebook seems like just another venue for procrastination.

Deep Thoughts: A failed commute yields an enlightened journey

Today's commute ended with a bang... and I mean that in a literal sense. The moment my commuter bus emerged from the Holland Tunnel, a pompous, Mercedes-driving, imbecile side-swiped it... startling all the passengers, including myself, out of our usual daze. Many of my fellow riders proceeded to groan and mutter complaints about how this is the fifth time something happened with the buses this month - the worst being the time when the bus broke down on the New Jersey Turnpike.



Others who were already near their stop just shrugged and filed routinely down the single row and continued their journey to their places of employment. So there I was, stuck in the bus, waiting for the police to resolve the incident, ten blocks away from my destination... wondering if I should skip breakfast because I was going to be late, or if I should grab a quick, unhealthy croissant from one of the street vendors lined in front of my building. Hmmmn... choices... choices.

Then it hit me... instead of sitting and waiting for whatever fate had in store for the rest of my commute and my breakfast, I should take my destiny into my own hands. I have a pair of good, strong legs, after all. I exited the bus and quickly made my way past the driver and the Mercedes-driving imbecile, who were trading unpleasant words with each other. With the sun in my face, racing down my head and down my back... I was solar-powered! I took off making long, brisk strides. I had ten minutes to go before I could officially be counted as late. Now it didn't really matter what time I arrived at work, but it just made it all the more fun to give myself a time limit and work toward beating that limit. There were many distractions and obstacles in the way... of course there were the delis calling out for me to stop and smell the pastries and the delicious fried foods. There were also Sunday strollers and the usual tourists that stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to take pictures. But, those things did not slow me down... I weaved effortlessly through them, using the dormant Manhattanite skills that I left behind two years ago. Throughout my "journey" I actually felt real good! It was a beautiful day, and I felt free from the confines of the steel box I relied on daily to get me to where I needed to be. My body parts actually spoke to each other almost as if saying, "hey there... haven't seen or heard from you in awhile", and my heart seemed to sing with delight, as my eyes, ears, and nose took in everything that I have missed... the feeling of being young, fit, and free in New York City! Alas, my journey had to end... my ten minutes, which I reduced to seven, afforded me time to stop at my favorite deli, Maiden Heaven, before heading to my destination. Climbing up the stone stairs of the plaza, I thought to myself... where have I been? I'm going to do this more often...