Rants & Raves: Andrew Lahde bids farewell to the System!

It’s not new news that the financial market sucks. Everyone’s been affected in some way by now; whether you’re worrying about your own job, your credit, your mortgage payments, gas prices, or unnecessary expenses (e.g. dining out, entertainment, luxury vacations, etc.). Sympathies also go out to the graduating classes that now find it difficult to obtain a good paying job. Wall Street and every other financial corner of the United States are “re-assessing” the value of fancy MBA education – therefore leaving those with educational debt in the red.

But, just because the market sucks, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be entertaining. Nowadays, former bankers, analysts, and hedge funders are lashing out at the big, bad, world… claiming that they are the victims of capitalism and long hours, chained to a computer. Yet, with some of the wealth they have accumulated… should we feel sorry for them? Should anyone (who is not an i-banker, analyst, or financial monkey) who has a dream of making it big in any metropolitan area, feel sorry for these shmucks who dare voice out in an attempt to exemplify an ounce of integrity? Here is one of the most recent communications by Andrew Lahde, a successful, Santa Monica hedge fund manager, who now despises the very system that allowed him to retire comfortably. You decide… should we empathize with this guy? Do you think his statement, while insightful… is genuine?

The Andrew Lahde Farewell Letter:

Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.


Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing up shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, "What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it." I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.


There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list those deserving thanks know who they are.


I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.


So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don't worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer's company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.


I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life -- where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management -- with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.


On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government. Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man's interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft's near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.


Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won't see it included in BP's, "Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions," television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM's similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant -- marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let's stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.


With that I say good-bye and good luck.


All the best,
Andrew Lahde



So in conclusion, Andrew thinks the solution to achieving utopia is pot? Mind you... this is my assumption, but it is funny how he ends his letter on this note.

Social Prowess: Top 10 Tips for Navigating or Avoiding a New York City Crowd

If you’re visiting the city, commuting, or have taken the plunge and decided to move into the thriving metropolis full-time, it will always be useful to know how to properly navigate through its overcrowded streets and subterranean tunnels. Follow these 10 tips to avoid getting stuck in a sea of jaded commuters or photo-happy tourists, and reduce your walk time by at least 10 minutes (results may vary)

10) Treat the masses of people like a body of water. Rivers and oceans always have equally opposing currents. Look out for a mass of people who are moving in your general direction and tag along behind them until you reach your desired location. Find an exit point such as an open entrance to a shop when stepping out of the ‘current’ to avoid getting trampled.

9) Avoid walking in a cluster of people who are dressed like tourists. Sorry to generalize, but tourists usually wear "I Love NY” t-shirts, carry a camera around their necks, and may have the occasional fanny-pack). More than likely, tourists will unknowingly block your path by stopping to ask for directions, pondering which deli or restaurant to explore, taking a picture of something mentioned in their guidebooks, etc. It’s a much better gamble to walk behind people in suits or dressed business casual, carrying a briefcase or messenger bag (good luck if they’re business guests from Delaware).

8) Find a ‘bulldozer’ or ‘Noah’ (Note: Religious Advocates please excuse the dramatic use of a biblical figure). A bulldozer is what I call a person who can skillfully push people aside, making a clear path. A ‘Noah’ is a reference to a Christian biblical figure, who had the power to part the Red Sea… the sea in this instance, is the masses of people. Usually a bull dozer is a person whose obvious size or momentum intimidates people to step aside (think the Juggernaut or Mr. T)… a bull dozer may also be a person with a steel dolly (they hurt if you bump into them) or a fast-moving, aggressive couple. A Noah is a term I reserve for authority (e.g. police, EMT, security guards, etc.) One of these types will pave the way for you… making it easy to get to where you are going. Just don’t get in front of a ‘Noah’ or the Red Sea may come crashing down.

7) Use roads less traveled. As with any area, I recommend that you consider the safety precautions of alleyways and desolate streets, if you are not familiar with them. I recommend looking out for street grates (women with high heels always avoid them) or unused bicycle paths; these pathways are less frequented by tourists, groups, and crowds, as they don’t allow for easy group navigation.

6) In conjunction with #7, try to walk on the East Side if it is convenient enough to do so. Because of the lack of subway lines on the East Side, larger crowds converge in the Western most avenues. (e.g. It is much easier to briskly walk without interruption on Park Avenue, than it is to walk on Broadway.)


5) Time your walk during off-peak periods. On weekdays, streets are much clearer during the hours of (10am – 11am) and (2pm – 3pm), since workers are usually in their buildings. In the evening, watch out for the Broadway crew, who make their way to the shows at around 7:30pm(around 11:30pm or midnight they all get out again).

4) Use large public areas in buildings to your advantage. If you can enter a large, public building with several street exits you may be able to get to the next block quicker (e.g. Walk through Macy’s in Herald Square to get from Broadway to 8th Avenue). Master the tunnels of Grand Central and you’ll be king/queen of the East Side.

3) Master the subway system. Knowing where the subway will drop you off ahead of time, will greatly reduce your time walking and bumping through the crowds. (The 1, 2, 3 trains stop every 3-5 blocks on the west side, as well as the C,E. The 4, 5, trains on the east side, stop about every 6 – 10 blocks, with the 6 train going local.).

2)Use www.hopstop.com to plan your commute ahead of time. It is a mapquest-like tool for the subway hopper!

1) And the #1 tip to navigate through a New York Crowd? Be rich, powerful, and important. Then, have a motorcade escort you to the front door of your destination!