Leadership Tips: 7 Points to Remember

Earlier today, I was listening in on a global conference call to kick off Asian Heritage month. For anonymity's sake, I won't mention the name of the keynote speaker (we will refer to her as Ms. Success), but I will tell you that she is a minority in the corporate world due to her gender and ethnicity. She lived most of her life in the Northwest region of the United States, in a time when people of her ethnicity were not welcome... but she persevered, and is now one of the most influential executives of a global company.

What struck me as interesting and made me even more engaged during her speech was her humility. The woman did not advertise her credentials, nor did she seem boastful or self-entitled. She went on to say share some of the finer points she learned during her uphill battle with prejudice and adversity:

Be Yourself. There is nothing more difficult than trying to be who you are not. It is important to remember where you came from, and what you've done to get to where you are now. Have no shame, and use any struggles and bad experiences as sources of strength... after all, you did eventually overcome them. Besides, smart people will always know if you're wearing a mask.

Persist. Ms. Success mentioned that at one point in her career, she interviewed for a high level job for which she knew she was more than qualified. Unfortunately, the hiring executive bluntly told her that she did not fit the image, since all of her contacts were old, school, boy's club types, and they would be uncomfortable interacting with a petite, female, minority figure. Well, she did not let this comment phase her and persisted in interviewing with numerous companies - some telling her the same thing. Eventually, she landed an even greater position at a more prestigious company. She learned that by persisting, a door of opportunity will eventually open.

Adapt. During numerous boardroom meetings, Ms. Success noticed a trend in the way the majority of executives interacted. Since 99% of them were All-American, alpha males, they usually broke the ice by talking football or golf. Now, Ms. Success is neither a football or golf fan... but she did realize the importance of interacting with her peers and not being left out and exposed as an outcast. So, before every meeting, along with reading the headlines in the Wall Street Journal, she would also flip to the Sports Section to catch up on the interests of her peers. While this may seem contradictory to the first point (Be Yourself), remember that much of success comes from relationship building. And, if you don't make an effort to adapt and try new things, you will block the natural growth of a relationship.

Don't lose sight of the other 25%. Ms. Success stated that as an individual, you are always judged by your performance and contributions at work... 75% of the time! But, what about the other 25%? The relationship building aspect? Well, if you forget about the other 25%, you will soon reach a plateau in your progression to the top. Thus, don't skip out on too many lunches with your peers or superiors, make every opportunity to chit-chat, share your experiences and stories. If you don't build relationships, you may end up alone in a mediocre position with nothing to look forward to but a pat on the back from time to time. Building relationships ensures that you will eventually have a network of people who will help propel you towards your goals in the future.

Stretch Beyond Your Comfort Zone. Let's be honest... everyone loves the feeling of being the best at what we're doing. But how long will you feel good, if what you're doing remains the same year after year? Colin Powell once said, “If it ain't broke, don't fix it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared. It's an excuse for inaction, a call to non-arms.” It's usually the person who becomes complacent who no longer continues to grow in self-worth.

Give Back. Along your journey, you will have learned many valuable lessons and gone through many enlightening experiences. Why not share that knowledge with others? Be a mentor, confidante, teacher... None of us would have succeeded if not for the advice and teachings of those in the know. Pay it forward, because it will eventually catch up to you.

Balance! That is... find balance in your life. If you have a family, make sure you have quality time devoted to them. Enjoy your time with your spouse, parents, siblings and relatives. Spend time with good friends and make sure to laugh often. If you want to focus on yourself, make sure that you find ways to personally develop. Take some classes in something totally unrelated to work, travel, try new foods, meet new people. No one can keep sane with all work and no play... that's not what life is all about. Being happy in your personal life, will make success easier and more fun to accomplish!

Remember these 7 points... and take advantage of Ms. Success' knowledge and experience. I know I will!

September 11 - Tragic Memories, Strong Reminder

(Photo by :Robert McMahan www.mcmahanphoto.com)

Seven years ago, the day was September 11, 2001. The wound has healed, but a slight bruise in place of it still stirs up tragic memories. I remember that day as if it just happened; and I remember the few days leading up to that grim event that would change everyone and everything.

At the time I was still employed by a global accounting firm, headquartered in Two World Financial Center. The lovely Winter Garden sat, nestled perfectly between the Two Towers and the buildings of the Financial Center. It was always pleasant to stroll through the bridge connecting my building to One World Trade Center; especially when the Winter Garden would empty, signaling the end of the work day for most, but just the middle of the work day for myself and others.

The week of September 3rd was a quiet one… foreboding, but quiet. It was one of the first weeks when I actually had some downtime and would often contemplate my life amidst the palm trees of the Winter Garden. After finishing up some big projects, I had decided to take advantage of my free time by exploring the job market and pursuing a new opportunity. It was September 5th, when my first job interview led me to 85th floor of Two World Trade Center.

The position was with a Japanese broker dealer and I had performed well with the various managers and peers that I met throughout the day, including Max, the light-hearted hiring manager who would be my potential boss. I felt good walking the halls of the firm – the people were friendly, the environment was laid back, and the company seemed to value family life, as there was artwork made by children, pasted along the walls of the office. The artwork made me smile and gave me hope that there was a company out there that valued life above work. Max’s own son had drawn his portrait rather accurately, a bit rotund, with a huge smile on his face.

“So, we’ll see you next week for the final interview?” Max seemed pretty certain that I was interested, which of course, I was.

“Yes”, I smiled enthusiastically, “please give me a call and let me know what day to come in!”

Little did I know, I would never come back into that office… and I still have the temporary ID from that day as a reminder.

Every morning from September 5th on, would be the same. I lived in a pretty convenient spot on 42nd Street and had only a few steps to take from my apartment building to the subway platform on the corner of my block. My alarm clock would ring at 7am, and because I had a shoebox for a room, I would bang my right elbow on the wall and my left elbow on the bookcase, while trying to hit the snooze button. My roommate would still be sleeping off the late night he had, working on his start-up business and tune out the noise I made stumbling around my room and the bathroom, while getting ready for work..

Fifteen minutes… that’s all it took for me to get from Hell’s Kitchen to the World Trade Center; another 5 minutes is all it took to emerge from the bowels of the subway at 6 World Trade Center and walk through the army of suited drones in a mechanical fashion.

I would make my first stop at Timothy’s World of Coffee after stepping off the escalator for a quick caffeine fix. Afterwards, a quick browse of the Banana Republic store window and quick walk through Borders, and I would blast through the revolving glass doors that served as the portal to the vast lobby of 1 World Trade Center. Dodging the usual tourists, I would make my way to the bridge connecting the World Trade Center to the World Financial Center. It was an invigorating walk, and a walk I miss.

Fast forward 5:30pm – Monday, September 10th, my friend Bob and I were standing in the middle of the bridge to the Winter Garden, staring out into the rain as traffic raced past underneath us.

“What a lousy day,” I grumbled, “but better on a Tuesday than over the weekend.” Bob nodded his head in agreement and stared blankly down at West Street. He had also come off some pretty grueling projects and was in shock that he actually had time to breathe.

“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” Bob muttered indifferently. “Man, I’m getting old… I’m only 26 and I already have a bald spot.”

I held myself back from laughing; the comment was true after all. I patted Bob on the back to cheer him up. “Hey man, a few drinks tomorrow night will cheer you up! Oh wait… I forgot that you don’t drink, so you’re screwed.”

“Ass!” Bob replied with a half smile, to let me know that he knew I was kidding.

“Hey… maybe we can catch Cirque Du Soleil when they get here in two weeks,” I suggested, “now, that would be cool!” All week there had been giant banners advertising the coming of the mysterious circus troupe… all of my co-workers were eager to see them in action in the Winter Garden.

“Well, 6pm… time to go home,” Bob stated matter-of-factly, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 – I woke up rather disoriented. My alarm clock didn’t sound and I squinted in the darkness to see the time. “Shit! It’s 8:20am!” I jumped out of bed and dashed for the bathroom. I quickly showered, brushed my teeth, and jumped into my suit, trying to button my dress shirt furiously.

RIIIIIIIIING… the telephone rang at 8:47am. It was my girlfriend who asked how I was and if I saw the news.

“Did you see the tower?” she asked sounding concerned. I turned on my 13” television and saw smoke from 1 World Trade Center being broadcast on NY1. I dismissed the sight as some accident, stating… “Eh… they’ll put that fire out… hey, I gotta get going now.” Much to my girlfriend’s disappointment, I reassured her that everything would be okay and made a dash down the stairs… to the subway… and in the subway.

The time was 8:55am – the E train creaked its way to 34th Street, then 14th Street. Then at 9:10am it stopped. The conductor announced that service to the World Trade Center would be suspended due to a fire in the towers.

“What did that mean? Towers? I thought only one tower was on fire?” I looked as a stream of people boarded the train to head back uptown. As I got back to my apartment, I found my roommate surprisingly awake and watching TV.

“Did you see what happened?” he asked.

“No… are they putting out the fire now?” I replied.

“It’s a terrorist attack… a second plane just hit the tower when you were gone”.

I stared at the TV in shock as a replay of the second plane looped on NY1. It was unbelievable… surreal… unbelievable.

The time was 10:05am – My roommate and I felt the pangs of disbelief and denial. The first tower went down. 23 minutes later, the second tower fell.

My phone didn’t work… then I got through to my girlfriend… to my family… but I couldn’t get through to my co-workers or my other friends downtown. The day was damned… but I was alive and questioned why I wasn’t there. Later I would find out that hundreds of others would have this same question, “How did I manage to wake up late for work?”

The following weeks were rough on everyone. Upper-management from my firm called and confirmed that I was alive. Everywhere, there was a bogus bomb scare, from Port Authority to Grand Central to Empire State. Some sick people actually thought it would be funny to capitalize on the aftermath.

I was scared and still in denial… a bunch of my co-workers got together to cope with the events over lunch, over dinner, over drinks and more drinks… but nothing seemed to fill the void we all felt.

The second week following the attack, I went to visit my parents in Jersey City to give them comfort that I in fact still existed. They didn’t want me to go back… but I felt that I had to… My roommate, who was an overly ambitious photographer, would keep me updated on the happenings around town. He would then go on to capture one of the most touching photographs of firefighters in the midst of disaster, “Walk of Courage” (http://www.mcmahanphoto.com/).

Feeling like I had to fill a void, I drove to downtown Jersey City to volunteer with the groups unloading trucks to supply the fire fighters and law enforcement with much needed supplies. Volunteering helped my soul feel better… just a little, but it was never enough.

I look back now… it’s September 11, 2008. I’m grateful that I woke up late that morning and that it was my destiny to live to be a husband, to be a father, and to be a friend. I’ve embraced the chance I was given and lived positively for the next few years – but we all know that over time positive spirit can fade. But, every year on September 11, I’m reminded of my pact with hope, and my positive feelings through grim reminders are always renewed.

God bless everyone who was affected on this day… you are not alone.